Battles within

I am in no mood and in no motivation to work, or to live. This is a phase, emotionally which is tough, seems like my world has ended and the sky has fallen and that I have nothing to live for.

Thoughts like these and state of mind like this can ruin anyone, and today I find myself in a battle with them, once again.

There’s a hole in my chest through which pain pours in, pain that takes the will to live away from me.

This does not mean I am tempted to die, this feeling just makes me want to go away.

Dissolve is the word, vaporize is the verb.

I wish I was a waterfall manifesting in a dense forest, flowing out, opposing the inward flow of pain within.

A waterfall that is joyous, happy, giving, alone, content.

For if I have to live away from you, then I would want to be nothing but such a waterfall.

“Without you,

I am an airplane with no wings

A sea plane with no sea

A bike with no handlebars or wheels..

Without you

I am a bird with no beak

A flower with no seeds

A ground with no trees

Without you

The clouds won’t be the same

I would feel dry when it rains

All my smiles will bring me pain

Without you

The Sunset won’t be a spectacle

The Sunrise won’t be a miracle

Everything in between the two, will be a long, still night.

Love is a Sales Woman

Standing tall…Rock solid

I was once Pure solid

No movements…No flex

I was convinced I would forever be still

Rivers tried to make me soft

Rain drops fell on my skin so strong

Mountains used diamond drills

None could make me change my will

Molten lava silently creeped up to me

I blew it away thanking it for the company

None could make me move a bit

I was convinced I would forever be still

Then she came

Her name was love

She looked in my eyes

And made me blink

While my eyelids moved

I was still still

Ignoring her I went back to being

Unmoved by anything, Mr.Still

Surprised I woke up

Wanting to blink again

The sight of her eyesight

Left a hint of craving within

When mighty nature itself could not make me Bend my knee

Here was this tiny human, Making me weak in my knees

She sold me hope

She sold me feelings

She sold me the desire to keep hustling

No more did I want to be still

No more did I listen to my will

She must be nature’s sales woman

Selling greatest power call love

I have become her loyal customer

She’s a saleswoman selling love..

A Pain that’s Welcome

Like a wave it rises,

Small and tiny at first

Soothing it sounds

Love is mirth

With closure it hits you

Like a refreshing splash

You wish to lay in the ocean forever

Swim in the ocean of love

With news of distance

Comes wave of Tsunami

The ocean is now roaring

Engulfs me in it’s core

Without love I don’t want to be on land

I will rather rest in the deepest trench

In solitude I will romance her memories

Without her I just don’t wish to live

The pain of love

Is a sign of true love

Anything from this love

Is purely welcome

The pain of this love

Is the sign of pure love

Everything of real love

Is purely welcome.

Why have I started this Blog?

Love has been the greatest of all desires. Since ages, man and woman have fought for their love interests. Some fought for the woman they loved, some for the men. Many fought for their love for their mother land. I have had my share of battles. Battles I fought for my love. My love that was randomly cheated upon. My love that I handled carelessly. My love that never got it’s love back…only until I met this lovely girl who could love me back.

It’s been more than a thousand days, and I am still in love with this girl. She is my best friend. She is my company to the doctor. She is my movie going friend. She is my beer buddy. She is my GoT friend. She is my Avengers friend. She is my horror movie friend. She is my travel buddy. She is my co explorer. She is my Road trip buddy. She is my queen. She is my girlfriend. She is is my guide. You get the gist. Now this girl is leaving to another country, and it’s bugging me right left and center, and up down and middle. She was the only one I could manage to hang out with. I have no good friends otherwise. What would I do when she is gone ?

What bugs me more is that I only have a 100 days left before she finally takes off, probably to never come back. How will I love without her? This, my friend, is the greatest test of love. And I have finally reached this phase.

Day by day as I inch closer to the day we depart, I cannot stop to wonder and ask myslef how much love have I not expressed yet to her?

And so, to reduce the intensity of my pain and to express my love in lieu of channeling my emotions, I write this Blog .

She loves when I write her a poetry. Earlier I used to send her the poems I wrote for her through emails, hand written letters, text messages, digital posters, etc.

But that makes it a lot of poems un-segregated.

Here, I can share what I feel with the world, on a log, called a blog, that will stay for eternity, at an access of her finger tips. I don’t know if she would still love me when we are away. I don’t know if I would be able to bear the pain of our separation. I don’t know if she would still be mine or move for the sake of getting rid of her pain of being away from me.

Nothing is certain, other than this moment, where I know I have learnt to love her unconditionally.

So knowing these are my final, last 100 days with her, I will try, with my heart mind and soul, to make it all special for her, through what she likes the most, poems.